fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
