The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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