Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
