Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
