Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
