i barfeds in our rink
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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