piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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