The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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