I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
