I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
