you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
