Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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