Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize