Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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