some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
