last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh god it's open bar.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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