I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
