also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
