dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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