Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
