if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish you could order shots online.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
