I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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