thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
