she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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