walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
FUCK WHALES
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
