I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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