He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
