I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
