i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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