Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize