Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
