what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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