you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
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