You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
