so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We are all done wearing pants today
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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