so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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