i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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