This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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