Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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