hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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