Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(213): View more from California

your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(831): View more from California

After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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(928): View more from Arizona

Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.

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(816): View more from Missouri

It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.

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