Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
