I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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