the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
