Kareoke will never be a sober sport
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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