His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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