Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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