For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
