Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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