What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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