Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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