It's Friday. Sex?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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