I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
