only if we run a train.
done.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
