I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
