I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
