he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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