she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
