sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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