i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
