hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
