Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
