he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
