hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
