she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
