Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize