The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
