The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
