Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
