Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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